Are you struggling with your or your partners erection during partnered sex?

When problems pop up, what are some of the causes and what do we rule out. 

Are you struggling with your or your partners erection during partnered sex? 

If the answer is yes, read on! 

First, let’s address expectations. Erections wax and wane. Arousal waxes and wanes, lubrication comes and goes, sex is hot and luke warm all within a span of moments. This is normal! When we accept what is, allow for flexibility, possibility is within reach. 

Second, what is your understanding? Are you with a new partner? Are you nervous? Are you with someone you care deeply for and the stakes feel higher? Are you moving to penetration before you’ve reached the arousal threshold? What are you thinking about? Are you a spectator in your sexual encounter or are you a participant? 

Third, have you been drinking? Have you gained weight? Are you sleepy? Are you treating your sleep apnea? Addressing some of these health and environmental factors may be the answer. 

If you are noticing the absence of early morning erections or struggling with obtaining or maintaining erections during solo sex, go talk to your primary care doctor. They may refer you to a urologist, but they also need to rule out any other health conditions that may be contributing (diabetes, or anything related to your heart health). Advocate for a complete evaluation before jumping to medications for erections. Erectile problems can be the canary in the coal mine for other serious health concerns.